S2E8 - Halloween Episode

Happy Halloween BreadHeads!

In this Halloween-themed episode of the Stale Bread podcast, the boys share their favorite Halloween costumes, mischievous pranks from their childhood, and the evolution of Halloween candy. They reminisce about their experiences with Halloween movies, discuss their favorite treats, and even touch on sports and Halloween-related shenanigans. The conversation is filled with humor, nostalgia, and a few outrageous stories that highlight the fun and mischief associated with the holiday.

00:00:00 Halloween Costumes and Memories

00:02:45 Pranks and Mischief

00:05:40 Halloween Movies and Scary Stories

00:08:38 Childhood Halloween Experiences

00:11:03 Halloween Treats and Candy

00:14:01 Debut of Mike's Sports Corner

00:16:53 Halloween Shenanigans

00:19:54 The Evolution of Halloween Candy

00:22:22 Closing Thoughts on Halloween

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Chapters

• 0:00 Halloween Costumes and Memories
• 3:34 Pranks and Mischief
• 6:29 Halloween Movies and Scary Stories
• 9:27 Childhood Halloween Experiences
• 11:52 Halloween Treats and Candy
• 14:50 Debut of Mike's Sports Corner
• 17:42 Halloween Shenanigans
• 20:43 The Evolution of Halloween Candy
• 23:11 Closing Thoughts on Halloween

Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00.224)
dip. You ever snort a pixie stick?

Yes. Yes, it was so horrible.

Hey

Speaker 1 (00:08.462)
The drip tastes like mango.

man. It was bad.

I only snorted drugs.

No fake drugs.

Speaker 2 (00:33.134)
you

you

Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Stale Bread podcast. It is Halloween time and we're talking about things that we love about Halloween.

I love orange.

You

Speaker 2 (00:54.988)
And Keller was just about to tell us about a costume that he...

I may or may not have done before. I doesn't seem to think so, but Jeremy does. Well, one year I went as a donkey punch. I dressed in a full donkey suit that I rented and had boxing gloves on. I ran around punching girls in the back of the head. The thing is that I I rented this and you had like, I think a week.

I don't think you have

Speaker 3 (01:27.468)
that when you rented it. So I rented it almost a whole week before Halloween. So I just wore it everywhere. So I put it on and I didn't have a car at the time. So I'd be on the bus in my donkey suit just right on the road. Then we'd go to the bar and I'd be in there dancing and singing karaoke in my donkey suit.

my god.

Do us a favor, and gentlemen, listen to all of season one and tell us who is right, Mike or me. Has Keller told this story before?

Probably.

You know, the fact that you said the word you rented the suit, it just came right back to me. You have. You have told it. Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 (02:06.85)
No he hasn't.

other costumes were Peter Pan with a drawn on mustache when I was six years old. I don't know how old I was.

So I have, went as a black belt Ninja apparently one year. don't remember.

Whoa, you can't say that.

Ninja. Ninja.

Speaker 3 (02:30.35)
You had ninja vitus?

Ninja

So my mom took a picture of me out, you know, on the front, in the front yard, you know, going trick or treating, whatever. And I guess my sisters were way too young to go trick or treating or something. so over the years, I would tell my one sister that I was a black belt ninja at that age. Bought it for years.

She

I think my favorite one year I went as Sergeant Osiris from Tropic Thunder.

Speaker 2 (03:08.43)
Who's that?

That's Robert Doughty Jr's black.

really? Yeah!

my gosh

I but I was playing a who's playing a dude who's playing a dude disguised as another dude. So technically I was going as Robert Downey Jr. my

Speaker 2 (03:27.714)
Yeah

That's a way out of it, maybe.

I got so many fucking looks

If you had anything to cancel, you would be canceled.

Definitely not my proudest moment. Probably not the smartest decision for costume, especially in

Speaker 3 (03:45.642)
We each other, we could do it again, and then I could go as Q-tip.

I have to watch this movie. still haven't seen it.

It is my favorite movie of all time.

I've heard it's hilarious.

This is so funny. Well, you don't like stupid comedy, though. It seems like I know you do a show with us.

Speaker 2 (04:04.018)
I do. I do like stupid comedy. just don't like, I like something that will continuously keep making me laugh. Like I don't like bad, like bad joke.

The Exorcist.

Yes.

I swear to God, me and Brooke were just talking about it. Every time I watch The Exorcist, it seems like it gets funnier and funnier.

I've never seen it. Never seen it. No desire to.

Speaker 1 (04:30.67)
The sow is mine!

I watched it during the day just so I wouldn't get all freaked out.

I don't like shit like that.

Well, you gotta get freaked out every now and then.

My type of Halloween movie is like Halloween. and then Texas Chainsaw Massacre, we watched that too.

Speaker 2 (04:49.762)
I never got into the horror movies. It wasn't for me. I was more or less the prankster. I was running pranks on people. Ding dong ditch. One year I tipped over a porta potty.

neighborhood. Somebody in it.

No!

You can't do ding-dong dash nowadays. No. ring cameras.

Bye.

Speaker 3 (05:13.423)
You can if you have a mask. Yeah, yeah, closer you get to the door to they're not gonna see you drop something in front of their door

True?

Speaker 2 (05:21.774)
I gotta wear mittens though, so I don't get finger recognized.

They're going to recognize you from your cool new haircut now.

Yeah. Do you ever egg houses?

No.

No? man, I did that in my 20s. I was real piece of shit.

Speaker 2 (05:40.642)
problem was we lived in a neighborhood that everybody knew everyone and everybody was friendly with everyone. So somebody was always watching where we were sort of thing.

shit where you sleep you go to another neighborhood

that we weren't allowed to leave the neighborhood.

I remember we Saran wrapped the intersection two stop signs together diagonally.

my gosh. my gosh. Talk about dangerous.

Speaker 1 (06:12.854)
I'd be on my motorcycle and I'd have a buddy on the back with the eggs and we'd just be racing through. Happy Halloween everyone!

Can you imagine somebody like on a motorcycle or a bike and just gets absolutely racked by the saran wrap? my gosh.

This episode is filled full of things that are not my brightest decision.

Yeah, I'll say.

I to prank rob people unless they gave me their wallet, then I really robbed them.

Speaker 1 (06:41.705)
You

That's not true at all.

You

think one of my favorites, remember a few episodes ago, I told you guys I lived across the street from a nightclub. Yeah. We, my brother and I would climb onto our roof with BB guns and it would be, you know, ladies night, Thursday, Friday, something like that. Security guards are walking through the back parking lot, making sure, you know, no one's getting robbed by Keller. And we would shoot them with our BB guns and they would think it were, it was mosquitoes and shit.

I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (07:21.826)
Well, they weren't that close. were we were actually pretty good shots. It was good practice.

You shoot your eye out.

Practice for what? What are you practicing for?

The stale bread, the stale bread apocalypse.

I actually did shoot my brother in the eye one time. Holy

Speaker 3 (07:38.139)
He popped his fucking head out real quick and BOOM! We said no faces! Fuck!

Did get stuck in his eye?

Yeah, did He blinked and it came out. Thank you. Yeah, that's why he looks like the guy from mr. Deeds

my god.

Speaker 3 (07:54.83)
Is that why he's cock-eyed?

Speaker 2 (08:00.75)
you

I'm kind of that squirrel over there.

Let me stir the mashed potatoes. My good hand.

unrelated but happy Halloween

Happy Halloween. Well, my brother, he shot himself in the toe. And then he had a BB inside his big toe for the longest time. I'm assuming he has it out now, but I wouldn't know. I don't stare at his toes unless they're underwater. Then I look at him because he has seaweed hair off of his toes underwater. It looks like.

Speaker 2 (08:14.168)
You

Speaker 1 (08:39.872)
I the same thing. My dumb ass, I shot my shoe first with my foot out. Like, okay, surely if it doesn't go through the shoe, then I'm safe. I didn't think anything about the impact. So I put my foot in there and I shoot my big toe and man, it fucking hurt. I took my shoe off, my toe swelling up, turning black. And then I listened to my shoe and I shake it. All the BBs went through and into the fucking soul of my shoe.

So I had a new rattle.

not the only soul you've ever had.

Speaker 1 (09:16.898)
Nope.

you

Damn it.

You soulless bastard.

There you go.

Speaker 2 (09:29.752)
So being born with a big ring finger has had its advantages in playing pranks to people for a long time.

want to hear this.

you can act like you can act like a No, that's 4th July. There's no fireworks on Halloween. I was thinking That's your hand

There can be in mailboxes.

Yeah, some people would blow up M80s and stuff on Halloween. That used to be a thing. Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (09:55.214)
Are you impervious to explosions with it? it just bounce off a little more?

No, no, I have the regular feeling of any other finger.

that sucks.

Um, one of the jokes I used to pull is, uh, if like, started working with somebody that I kind of got to know kind of good. And I was like, okay, I can pull a prank on them. I would, and they didn't really notice, you know, my hand or anything, or it had never mentioned it. Um, I would slam the door and I would just start screaming and, Oh my God.

Instantly swollen

Speaker 2 (10:42.572)
Yeah, just like instantly. I did it to a girl when I was working at Walgreens and she freaked out. I always that was almost an HR talking. it was close. It was close. I to talk. I had to talk her off the ledge. No, no, no, no. I'm OK. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You

Just using hammers around people, mean, whatever, know, anything like a vice.

I'm still thinking about that poor Walgreens girl. She would have challenged you to a cage match with HR.

Yes, you would have. We would have grown up a contract.

Speaker 1 (11:26.37)
to light my hands and arms on fire.

Speaker 2 (11:32.654)
Why does that not surprise me?

We learned that if you soak your hand in alcohol, you just pour it on your hand and you light it on fire, it will only burn the alcohol.

It, it, the vapor burns, not the, not anything else.

to a degree. Yes. you douse your entire fucking arm and light it on fire, the hair starts to go, man burning hair stinks. But my grandfather was barbecuing one day and I run in the bathroom, grab the alcohol, pour it all over my arms and then walk up next to him. And by that point, the alcohol had dried a little bit. So I stick my hand in to grab something.

And my whole arm goes up and I'm pretend freaking out. my God, my grandpa, what the fuck? And then I start really freaking out because it's not going out.

Speaker 2 (12:26.089)
You

Speaker 1 (12:35.662)
I lost all the hair on my arm. It was wonderful. But hey, I got him.

Speaker 2 (12:43.79)
I got him, that's great. Going back to Halloween, was one the coolest things you saw, costumes-wise?

People who do cosplay in comic cons do that shit all the time.

all year. Yeah. The best one I ever saw was in my neighborhood. The guy dressed up as Marty McFly and Doc from Back to the Future. And we're driving around in a DeLorean.

to.

Speaker 1 (13:15.288)
That's pretty cool.

It was pretty cool. And it was right around the time, think the second or third one had come out. So it was perfect timing. I think it was like around 89. And it was was cool because it was fresh on everybody's mind. The movie was great.

Do you think they were back from the future?

Yes, I do. Because they told me, they gave me a sports almanac, I'm secretly a billionaire.

Why do think I'm watching the baseball playoffs right now?

Speaker 3 (13:50.104)
You don't even need to watch.

think, wow, yeah, that's true. Or do I?

You've got the game on what's going on?

Let's see, we got Red Sox Yankees in the wild card playoff three game series. Red Sox won first game last night in New York and we are tied 3-3 going into the eighth inning. And this is a three game series. So if the Red Sox win tonight, the Yankees are gone.

Fuck. Do we like that? Is that a good thing?

Speaker 2 (14:26.926)
Absolutely. I'm a huge Red Sox fan.

I just got black snucks. Fruit of the Loom!

Have you seen my baseball?

Say it again?

There's your costume this year.

Speaker 3 (14:40.014)
FURK THE BIRDS! FURK THE BIRDS!

You're my winner!

Speaker 1 (14:49.518)
A little bit, yeah. That was something about Mary.

Yep, that's what I've seen.

And you can go with your hair all crisp. You can go as Mary.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:05.272)
God.

And Mike can go as the old lady sunbathing.

You

Speaker 3 (15:14.288)
Perfect.

Let's see, earlier today Cleveland beat Detroit to tie that series up at one. The Padres beat the Cubs and that series is tied at one one. And we got LA playing Cincinnati tonight and LA is leading one to nothing. So LA wins tonight, it's over. This is baseball.

This is hockey.

Hell yeah, WNBA.

Is that the one with the field goals?

Speaker 1 (15:48.59)
Just, just if you guys listening, you're not catching on. Keller and I don't really know shit about sports.

No, I do. I was just joking.

Totally. yeah, maybe it's just me.

But I don't know. I mean, I know about baseball. I just don't watch baseball, but I'm more of a basketball football fan, even though I don't really watch that a whole lot either. So, but if it's on, I'll watch it. I know the rules. I know how to play.

Jeremy, you brought up a interesting story about any. What you said a minute ago, scandals, scandals. Yes. So speaking of baseball, this guy named Cal Raleigh. Is a catcher for the Seattle Mariners, and he has hit 60 home runs this year.

Speaker 2 (16:49.134)
And he almost almost broke the old 62 home run record that's excuse me 61. Home run record by.

record always getting the third

Brecker by Roger Maris, which stood for many, many, many years until Barry Bonds broke it. So there's a lot of people out there saying that Barry Bonds isn't the true home run single season leader because he was on steroids. People were really rooting for this kid, Cal Raleigh to beat.

Hell yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:32.152)
don't think he's on any type of steroids.

I don't think so. It's highly regulated. No, they can't be on it.

I'm sure there's some things that they can take that won't show up.

I don't know, but all these guys get tested pretty regularly because of that whole era. So unfortunately he wound up not breaking the single season record. He stopped at 60, but it was nice to see.

Kind of picture all that call of duty cheaters. They're in there. They're steroid and up.

Speaker 1 (18:07.64)
yeah, they got that aimbot.

But I'm not saying if you could take it, I think you should be able to take steroids if you want to and professional sports. I don't have a problem with it. I think if you want to get it juiced up and the juice is loose and go ahead.

I think the real question here is, has either one of you guys ever shit in a paper bag and lit it on fire on someone's porch?

Yes, I have.

No, no, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (18:37.966)
I did it at Pizza Box.

I you were supposed to do. I thought you were supposed to take dog shit. Over there actually shit in a bag. Dirty fuck.

You

Speaker 2 (18:47.542)
In a pizza box.

Now, hear me out. When I was younger, we lived in a one bathroom house with a bunch of fucking people in it. One day I was using the bathroom, my brother had to shit. So he really has to go. He jumps in the bathtub, closes the curtain, takes the trash can, puts it under his ass and shits into the bag. He then throws this bag at the neighbor's house and it explodes shit all over her power meter.

my gosh. my gosh.

I mean, I've shit on things, but out of pure necessity.

So we had watched Billy Madison way too many times. I found an old pizza box and put some lighter fluid on top of it, not knowing how flammable that stuff was. We went and put it on my friend's porch and that thing went up. I mean, we had to get the garden hose and put it out. We got scared.

Speaker 1 (19:59.362)
Hey, I shit in a bag too. We threw it in the dryer vent of a laundry mat.

my gosh, that's horrible.

my close

my god

This is so fucked up.

Speaker 2 (20:20.878)
Is that the worst you've ever done? The worst prank? That's disgusting.

Probably not, but it's not come into mind.

Okay, well, what's y'all's favorite part of Halloween?

I just told you. candy. Yeah.

And... Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:38.008)
fitting in dry events. Hell yeah.

Every Halloween.

the candy was the best man. Like that was, you know, your parents had to check it quote unquote. And that was, that was.

No, back in the day you did though, because I was going trick or treating and they were like, you have to check it for razor blades. And I'd be on the news that some kid got razor blade fucking candy.

I noticed a razor blade. You fucking dumbass child. Nobody ever gave me free drugs.

Speaker 2 (21:11.694)
That always bothered me though, like why? Why? Are the peoples just sadists?

Yeah, obviously

People need their ASPE.

Then they had the whole Fittin' All thing not too long ago where they're lacing candy with Fittin' All.

about a good time.

Speaker 1 (21:31.234)
You ever snort a pixie stick?

Yes. Yes. Yes, it was so horrible.

The drip tastes like mango.

man. It was bad.

I only snorted drugs.

Speaker 2 (21:49.26)
Hahahaha!

No fake drugs.

My sisters always loved the candy cigarettes.

I did too. Now look at me.

Yeah, I always like getting candy that I never was able to normally get from like my parents would never let me get a whole bunch of candy all the time. It was always so it was.

Speaker 1 (22:13.196)
Jewish household, I get it.

Alright.

Speaker 3 (22:24.024)
candy for you.

You can only have bagels.

vlog

Lux Lux and Creed.

This shit's good. No. Salmon! I don't like raw salmon.

Speaker 3 (22:37.848)
Delicious on a bagel. Cream cheese. Yeah. thank you. you'll smoke candy cigarettes, but not salmon.

Moke salmon is delicious. You fucking weirdo.

Speaker 2 (22:49.025)
I did.

Speaker 2 (22:52.728)
like ner-

What else do you smoke? The cock?

Speaker 2 (23:02.968)
the fuck?

Skin flute player.

You

Now I always like getting lit. It was always like the mini boxes of nerds and I put them all together like a bowl and then just, just overdose on nerds.

Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:19.586)
Pretty soon they don't have a flavor, it's just sugar.

Your tongue is like black from all the colors.

Speaker 1 (23:33.326)
Did you ever do the tournament?

No, what is the tournament?

You empty a bag of

What? Vomit on my sweater already. Mom's spaghetti.

Yeah, it's a rap battle. No.

Speaker 3 (23:46.52)
for Eminem.

second. I just got it. I'm like, what?

Sadly too long. No, you open a bag of &Ms, you grab one, you put it between two fingers and you squeeze a little. If it breaks, it loses, you get to eat it. If it doesn't break, it goes on to the next round and the next comes out of the bag and you squeeze that one.

were so poor. You were so fucking poor.

Something the behavioral therapist said to help me slow down eating candy.

Speaker 3 (24:22.456)
did anything to have fun is so sad. I'm sorry, Jeremy.

Yeah, the ones that didn't break the roaches got to eat.

And the roaches didn't get them, the pet raccoons did.

Did have a possum fall through my ceiling one time.

You

Speaker 1 (24:44.599)
You

That was Wednesday

It was so disturbed to be in his house. was probably David Platt, dad. just ran straight out. It's like, don't want to be here.

You

Speaker 1 (25:01.664)
department came got it out of there

Do they do that?

I guess so.

I wonder if I could call and tell them there's a raccoon on my porch and pretend my cat's a raccoon.

They might come take them.

Speaker 2 (25:15.822)
Have you been smoking, sir?

No, no, but I've been squeezing these

Do I have

yeah, the FNM is like, Jeremy, Jeremy, I have been, I've been a big strong guy for my whole life. Like I would break every single one of them. Like, well, how did you gauge? You know, you're the pressure on them. Like now I'm intrigued.

Self control, Mike.

Speaker 2 (25:45.806)
Apparently.

Well, it's also, it can be a dexterity exercise. Playing guitar, you can take them, gauge your pressure. You don't always want to be slamming your finger down. You want to know exactly how much pressure you're using.

yourself I always want to be slamming my finger down now or then

What's your favorite candy?

Speaker 2 (26:08.268)
Yeah, that is a good question.

Back then I used to like all the fruity candies so Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, stuff like that was I didn't really eat a whole lot of chocolate and nerds things like that but now I'm like more Reese's Pieces Butterfingers shit like that

Yep.

Speaker 2 (26:32.504)
But are you see PC? had me a bowl of Reese's puffs for dinner tonight.

They're not that good. They're so good. I'd have the cocoa pebbles.

I love when we're talking.

Speaker 2 (26:49.238)
Never had him. I just bought a just bought a box of tricks for the first time.

Wait.

You've never had cocoa bubbles? Nope. So it really was bagels and lox.

Yeah, they don't give their kids anything. He's so deprived. He's like a Jehovah witness, but worse. They get cocoa powder.

Jehovah non-witness.

Speaker 3 (27:13.806)
Can I get a witness? No?

Nope. Nope. Nope. Not here. Not here.

They wouldn't they wouldn't raise their hand because they don't celebrate things

That's Name of cereal. I probably never had it.

See, Mike can't see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch. Do you hear the theory about tricks, how tricks is for kids? When we were kids, they were actually shaped like fruits, and now they're just pebbles. Is it because we're adults we can't see the shapes?

Speaker 3 (27:47.361)
help us all.

Speaker 2 (27:55.598)
Quit boofing the tricks

Ladies and gentlemen, this Halloween, pour a box of tricks into your ass and have your partner eat it. Ferticy of us.

There'll be a trick full of tricks.

Trick or treat.

I do like tricks. Tricks are good. That box was gone in about one and a half days.

Speaker 3 (28:18.424)
So you never have fruity pebbles?

Nope. Raisin Bran and Honey Nut Cheerios. That's all I ate. And Reese's Puffs.

ever.

Pivot us back to Halloween. That's tried real hard.

it.

Speaker 3 (28:33.603)
I'm sorry. I'm just still shocked that this fuckers only ate three cereals his whole life.

Not a serial eater.

Pain though. I could not be a serial or

Yes, it really, really, really,

Speaker 3 (28:52.284)
Excedrin.

fucking pops, pops are disgusting. You're fucking.

I like pops.

is that like, is like the corn puff thing? Yeah. Yeah. Never, never had those.

Don't waste your time.

Speaker 1 (29:08.558)
Raisin Bran eaten more

I've had I've had golden grams. I'll give you that golden grams

Okay. ever pour goldfish into a bowl and fill it full of milk and eat it? Yeah. Goldfish.

No.

Yeah, don't do that. It's fucking gross.

Speaker 2 (29:29.709)
What?

Then the kids are going to miss their pets too.

The cracker cracker

Go to back.

Curses.

Speaker 3 (29:42.402)
Well, either way is disgusting.

You cracker. my gosh.

No, but the treats are nice. The treats are always, always welcomed. This Halloween, make sure you get some treats. Little pro tip. Wait until November and all that candy's gonna be discounted. So if you're lazy, stay in. Scare the shit out of children. Go to Walmart the next day. Buy all your candy.

Or if you don't want to wait, you go to the dollar store, the dollar tree, and buy multiple bags of a $1.25 candy. And then fill up the bowl for about $15 to $20.

Fuck that.

Speaker 3 (30:28.578)
Fuck you. That's what I do every year.

Fuck you, you pops-eatin' son of a bitch.

Fuck you, you goldfish eating some bitch. Where you gonna go for Halloween this year? As a goldfish in a bowl of Bitch. Ass. Fuck. Face.

BITCH

Speaker 1 (30:50.926)
Come on, you're almost there. I'm letting you get it out.

Fucker.

Chicken fucker

Brooke is going as Alice from Alice Madness Returns. So I'm going to go as a creepy ass white rabbit.

Speaker 2 (31:19.374)
Chainsmoking Rabbit.

Yeah. No, I've got a scythe and a clock and a robe and a scary rabbit mask.

Not the pope robe again.

No, I still got my pope hat though.

and a pope does shit in the woods. In the houses and in the bathtub and a trash can.

Speaker 1 (31:34.68)
He does.

Speaker 1 (31:38.869)
and in a dryer vent.

Go!

the boat game update Yankees took the lead in the bottom of the eighth four three.

Looks like we're going to have a third game there, gentlemen.

Ladies look at it ain't over yet. Well any closing closing count go ahead.

Speaker 1 (31:58.446)
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

No, no, no, no, no, no,

Speaker 2 (32:05.72)
Kelleher, are you about to say something? Please.

Me? Yes, I was about to ask if you had any closing arguments because we're in court now. I don't know how to phrase it.

The defense arrest.

Okay.

Anything from the prosecution, Jeremy?

Speaker 1 (32:23.872)
Nah, I don't care enough.

Can you cross eye examine?

Hang on. They can't see it at home, but ow, that fucking hurts.

All right. Order order order in the court.

feel like I missed a whole portion.

Speaker 2 (32:44.142)
You definitely did it. Take us out, Jeremy.

Ahhh Peace motherfuckers

Speaker 2 (33:21.304)
Still Bread podcast is Daniel Keller, Jeremy Pope and Michael Kaliznik recorded live at SMG Studios, a division of SMG Communications. Executive producers, Michael Kaliznik and Tony Skippersen Clark.