S2E7 - Hold My Guinness...World Records!

On this latest episode, the boys jump headfirst into the wild world of Guinness World Records! They chat about the easiest records to smash, the toughest ones that seem impossible, and some totally wacky and laugh-out-loud records they dug up. Sharing their own stories, they dare each other to come up with records they might actually have a shot at breaking. The whole convo stays light, goofy, and packed with humor as they revel in the sheer ridiculousness of some of these records.

00:00
Intro

02:46
Easiest and Hardest Records to Break

05:47
Unbreakable Records and Their Stories

08:48
Weird and Wacky Records

11:42
Record-Breaking Challenges and Ideas

14:36
Personal Record-Breaking Aspirations

17:13
Humorous Takes on Records

20:08
Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 3:35 Easiest and Hardest Records to Break
• 6:36 Unbreakable Records and Their Stories
• 9:37 Weird and Wacky Records
• 12:31 Record-Breaking Challenges and Ideas
• 15:25 Personal Record-Breaking Aspirations
• 18:02 Humorous Takes on Records
• 20:57 Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00.184)
Keller, didn't you say you were trying to beat the Eats the Most Corn the Long Way record?

You could break a record with the mom that's the biggest bitch

that silence is for you.

you

Speaker 1 (00:24.328)
you

you

All right, I was gonna say killer what we talking about today what we got

Hey, hold my Guinness World Records. We're going to talk about the World Guinness Book of Records, the easiest ones to break, the hardest ones to break, and just some of the craziest shit that you've seen on there. What? Let's do some of the easiest ones first. You tell me if you think you could actually break the record or at least tie it.

we starting with?

Speaker 4 (01:02.158)
Alright.

So one of the first ones we have is fastest time to assemble Mr. Potato Head toy. This record test speed and familiarity with the toy and the current record is being six seconds. Do you think you could put that potato together in six seconds or less? Six? Six seconds. Hell yeah. You got an arm, eyeballs, isn't the nose and mustache one part? So.

Second

Speaker 4 (01:30.957)
Yes.

Arm legs hat so one two ears three four wait one two five six seven eight eight pieces

The legs are one thing.

Speaker 4 (01:47.31)
Yep, I don't think so.

You know what I would do.

not with three fingers.

I would invite all the Guinness World Record people to my house and get ready for this Mr. Potato Head. And then when they yell time or when they say start, I'll open them up and just start stuffing them with potato salad.

We're going back to the last episode

Speaker 1 (02:11.064)
get the record for the biggest waste of time.

biggest waste of time.

I swear guys, I can do this, I swear.

Just give me one more chance.

Oh man, fastest time to peel an eat an orange. The current record is 17.15 seconds.

Speaker 4 (02:34.67)
Heel and eat.

Yeah, depends on what type of orange.

What if you just don't peel it? You'll have the shits, but does it count?

you gotta peel it.

I got a pillow, that's the record.

Speaker 1 (02:47.03)
I'll peel it in my stomach. but I guess that would take a day or two. see.

I feel like 17 seconds is kinda long though.

I don't know man, you get some of them sticky fuckers, the skin doesn't want to come off.

That's what I'm saying. It depends on the orange. If you have like a Clementine or something like that comes right off. Dave, you right. So I guess it depends on the orange for that one.

You gotta have it peeled by like eight or nine seconds at least.

Speaker 1 (03:13.068)
Not kill her, he can just go.

Pretty much. got that. Never mind.

Welcome back to the Gay Friends Podcast.

No, most sticky notes stuck on a face in 30 seconds. Current record being 38 sticky notes and 30.

we can't do that. We got freaking hair all over our faces. It would never work.

Speaker 1 (03:36.462)
Do that more than one at a time.

Well I'm bald too so I can stick them up top.

Is that your face? That's not your face.

That's not your face.

But where, how do you, okay. So how do you tell where a bald man's face starts and his head begins?

Speaker 1 (03:51.49)
I don't know man, he does have about six wrinkle lines going up his forehead, so his forehead's about eight inches long.

you. I got nothing say. Fuck you. Let's see. Let's go to another place and see what they say. Most CDs balanced on one finger. 50 CDs on one finger.

Wait, are they standing up on their side or are they laying down?

The rule is that you may not poke your finger through the hole of any of them. Your finger must be flat against the CD.

And you gotta hold how many?

Speaker 2 (04:32.746)
More than 50. That's the current record.

Nah I'm good, I stream now.

You got to stack them.

Well, I don't even know. It doesn't even say you have to stack them. So maybe if you just have them all there, then just balance them. With one finger. this one's for Bill Cosby, most jello eaten with chopsticks in one minute. A Chinese Bill Cosby.

Hold them. have to hold them.

Speaker 1 (04:55.31)
Beer!

Felt or I was trying to say fat Albert, but I was thinking of an Asian name felt Albert. I don't know.

fat o-

This young fat.

3.2 ounces of Jell-O with chopsticks in one minute.

Speaker 4 (05:21.806)
That's a lot of d-

You ever eat it with a straw?

with a straw.

Yeah. all the time.

poke holes in it, signs that you're a psycho.

Speaker 2 (05:30.548)
Yeah. No, never done that.

Talk about a call back

Yeah, that was like eight months ago.

By the way, the face and the head is the transition between the face and scalp marked by the hairline. that is the end of your face.

So that means that you could win the sticky note one, Keller. Yeah. Hairline goes all the way to your back.

Speaker 4 (05:55.448)
Yeah, you'll recede. Your hairline's receding all the way down to Palm Cove.

I'll wait till my ass comes

The hair starts again on my back. yeah, I guess that would be, let's see, extremely difficult. Longest consecutive games played by Cal Ripken Jr. streak of 2632.

yeah, nobody's ever going to touch that. Nobody's ever going to touch that record.

But it's an almost impossible feat in baseball.

Speaker 4 (06:23.015)
It really is.

I could totally do it. No, I couldn't. Not at all.

There's also a rumor that his wife was cheating on him. and I can't remember who it was with.

that guy in the towel.

Probably. But there was a river that his wife was cheating and he was pissed and he was going, he was, found out in like the middle of a game. And during the like in the middle of this streak, cause it was taking, taking some momentum and gosh, I can't remember who it was with, but it was with somebody like a big name star. Yeah. That record is impossible to break.

Speaker 2 (07:04.718)
This is there's one that says that it's unbreakable and it's the tallest man in history. Robert Pershing Wadlow from USA. He was measured at a whopping two point seventy two meters, eight foot, eleven point one inch of height in 1940. He needed to eat eight thousand calories daily, which is more than three times the recommended amount for an adult man. In the last eighty three years, no one has.

ever beaten Robert. So that's the pretty much says unbreakable.

I mean, you can't, yeah, it's not like you can go out and do that one and break it.

You gotta be born into that one.

shit, I hope you're not born like that. I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 (07:47.918)
It prices a food right now. They have to raise his own food for sure. Be slaughtering cows and chickens left and right.

that.

Speaker 1 (07:59.854)
Join a circus and have them feed me. I'll eat fucking onion rings and popcorn, I don't give a shit.

What do we have here?

some of the weirdest records. Like who took the biggest shit? I really do want to know that.

Big as shit.

Biggest shit in history.

Speaker 4 (08:16.238)
The largest documented human poop is 20 centimeters, which for us people in the United States is...

measured in like 60 eagle talons.

7.87 inches, which I think I break on a consistent basis all the time.

Yeah, that... Are they not measuring anymore? Did they stop? I'll invite the Guinness people back to my fucking house. Look in my toilet.

Please. I found one. think we can we can beat. We just need pretty much 99 friends and we can all get naked and go on a ride on a theme park.

Speaker 1 (08:45.602)
We're fucking tired of you, Jeremy. Stop. Stop calling us.

Speaker 1 (09:03.32)
Damn it, man.

Speaker 2 (09:07.758)
most naked riders on a theme park ride 102 naked riders

Alright everyone hit social media like follow subscribe. Let us know if you want to join us in a theme park.

Clothing not optional.

You guys are on your own for that one.

Fine, we need a hundred people. Jesus.

Speaker 4 (09:30.798)
So you need 101 because you want to break the record, not tie it.

yeah, that's true. Most toilet seats broken by the head in one minute. What? Kevin Shelley broke 46 toilet seats in one minute with his head.

Holy crap.

man, I broke one once.

With your ass.

Speaker 1 (09:52.812)
With my nose, man.

They have weird, these are longest career as an ice cream man, like 67 years. That's a record.

beat that by start right now.

It's called a disappointment.

I gave ice cream to all the kitties for 67 years and I ain't touch one of them.

Speaker 2 (10:13.9)
Yep, and that was John Wayne Gacy.

I'm still laughing about your Nick Nolte myth.

my Nick Nolte that I turned into.

He suddenly started... Morphin' into Nick Nolte. Come on out here.

But then I said butter sausage and that's what's UC. Yeah, buttered sausage.

Speaker 4 (10:38.38)
You

Speaker 4 (10:45.326)
What are some records you think we could beat, Keller?

Well, since you don't want to get naked, we can't do that one.

Yeah, no, I'm out.

I'm concerned. You can tell us, Keller. It's fine. This is a s-

Jeremy can do this one. Jeremy can most garters removed with the teeth in one minute. I have faith in them. It's 26. Yes.

Speaker 1 (11:04.888)
Garters?

police.

I'm gonna have to talk to Brooke and see if she's willing to break a record with me.

Largest whoopee cushion. Let's see most drink cans crushed with elbow in one minute 77 cans what the fuck

I could beat that. Wow. What kind of cans are they? Tall boys? They have a standard Coca Cola. I can do those mini ones from Sam's Club.

Speaker 2 (11:27.47)
where the standard can.

Yeah, what if it isn't minicans?

What side do you have to hit with your elbow? Because that's aluminum. That cuts. It's gonna hurt.

Maybe they give you a pad. No, they probably don't.

No, it's got to do

Speaker 2 (11:45.698)
Would like you to try this one, Mike, fastest escape from a straight jacket underwater. 22.86 seconds. I think you got what it takes.

Just attempt it.

Nope.

And if you fail, hey, we won't laugh at you.

How is this even possible? Most roof tiles broken in one minute by a female. 923 roof tiles.

Speaker 4 (12:09.71)
They gotta be stacked.

That is crazy.

Most teeth in a mouth. 30-37 teeth. Shortest married couple. 181.41 centimeters.

could beat that.

I thought you were going by time.

Speaker 2 (12:28.174)
That was the actual size, tallest high top fade. We might have to bring our weatherman in for that.

I want to go for the burrito one.

Has anybody heard from our weatherman? Did y'all actually pay him?

No, no, why?

What?

Speaker 1 (12:46.54)
He's got to be reliable, man. He's like an intern.

do have a voicemail from him though. Let's listen to it.

Ha ha ha ha.

Oh, well, well, still bread podcast. Well, well, I guess I'll give you guys a little weather update just to let you guys know what time it's going to be. You know, the weather is going to be super, super hot out there. OK, it's sunburn season. OK, so SPF 50 we're thinking. No, no, no, we're thinking SPF stay inside. OK, you know, it's hot when your cold brew sweats more than you do. So it's freaking hot out there. So you guys be careful. The air quality is given a, you know, toasted marshmallow, but without the fun.

you know, y'all got a breeze report for you. It's going to be strong enough to flip those flimsy wings, ladies. Okay. But it's not cool enough to cool that back to what fellas, tonight is looking sticky, sweaty, filled with random powers for no reason. know how that go. I'm our urban tip for, that weather day. Don't trust any puddle. Okay. It might be rain. It might be an AC drip or it might be shit. Just, just walk around it. Okay.

Speaker 3 (13:57.098)
Now, the biggest thing about this, stale bread, I'll just say this. Life is like a sandwich, man. Okay. No matter which way you guys flip it, the bread comes first. Damn it. I need my money. Okay. Ain't nothing but $25. I don't reached out to Jeremy. I mean, everybody, Mike, I need my money. Okay. You guys get back with me. Fuck you.

man.

fuck

Speaker 1 (14:31.624)
he's never getting paid.

Most pots thrown in one hour by an individual. 159. Disgruntled chef, I'm assuming.

Wait, what?

Most pots in one hour. It's only 159. I feel like we could beat that. No problem. Yeah.

Throne? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:52.066)
Yeah, the three of us.

and that was in the United States.

Speaker 2 (15:01.226)
ain't no Joel Cherico.

We need a, what's the qualification for a pot?

like an ounce.

maybe it's making the pot because it says on the bottom, unlike the other records on this list that involve throwing Joel Cherico didn't break a world record by smashing 159 pots in one hour. He broke it by making them.

I thought you were just gonna say I was was like.

Speaker 4 (15:32.106)
Yeah, like let's go buy. Let's go buy a hundred sixty pots right now.

So he made pots.

Yeah, he made pottery. I guess that's like jargon.

Hotter root.

That's not as fun.

Speaker 2 (15:46.392)
Yeah. Or is anybody good at guitar hero?

Speaker 2 (15:53.056)
Score on guitar hero three seven eight seven or eighty nine thousand three hundred forty nine by a female in San Francisco.

When Guitar Hero was coming out, Chris used to play it all the fucking time and I was still learning guitar. So he would beat something on Guitar Hero on Expert and I'd be amazed and pissed at the same time because he'd rub it in my face. You can't do that on Guitar Hero. So then I'd go and I'd learn the song on actual guitar. I think it was, I think it was Everlong actually. And I showed my brother.

And after I played the whole fucking thing, after weeks of practice and getting it right, his response was, yeah, but you can't do it on guitar hero.

Speaker 1 (16:45.71)
Fucking asshole.

I'm just thinking about Jeremy's and Mr. Potato Head thing. We go out to the store, we buy 160 pots and just start throwing them. And it posted on Guinness's world record site. like, hey, we did 160

While simultaneously assembling three Mr. Potato Heads.

and wasting more time.

Speaker 2 (17:12.366)
Oh, there's a fastest time to drink one liter of lemon juice through a straw. That's 22.75 seconds for our leader.

my gosh. Talk about ripping your stomach up.

think Hailey could beat that.

Does she like lemon juice like that?

My daughter Hailey's weird with lemons, She'll take them at the restaurants and eat them like oranges.

Speaker 2 (17:34.702)
We should do this one to Mike. Most human targets hit with plungers in one minute. 15 rubber plunges.

think we could top that. I think we could do 67.

Okay, again, what qualifies a hit?

You gotta stick it.

I thought we could just like whack him with it.

Speaker 4 (17:53.868)
Yeah. Well, yeah, it's like throwing it of the pot.

The crowd gasped, they held their breath and then with one final push they watched as Gerard Donnie broke his previous record of throwing plungers at people in a single minute by one. That's right people. In one minute Gerard Donnie was able to throw 15 rubber plungers at people. The feat was achieved on the set on TV. I don't even know. It was in Japan. Somewhere in Japan. But it doesn't even say he stuck them.

it would be a Japanese TV show.

just throw them at people.

Yeah, just threw him. We should be able to beat that.

Speaker 1 (18:31.906)
Like different people or one poor soul getting hit in the face with plunger handles over and over.

I don't know. It just says that targets hit with plungers in one minute. So I'm assuming there was multiple targets. All right. Oh, I don't like this one. Harriest teenager. I could definitely break that record.

They gotta stick.

Speaker 4 (18:53.998)
Yeah, it could have been me. I was shaving at like 13.

Keller, didn't you say you were trying to beat the Eats the Most Corn the Long Way record?

You could break a record with the mom that's the biggest bitch

Speaker 1 (19:12.714)
silence is for you.

Speaker 4 (19:17.806)
I want, I do think I could beat the burrito. I swear I could beat the fastest to eat a burrito. Which is what? I've thought about it for years.

So you could do the corn challenge.

Speaker 4 (19:34.137)
31.47 seconds. Yes. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I think it's a Chipotle burrito.

kind of burrito. Chipotle? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:41.12)
I could probably do that too.

I think I could do that.

I like getting the bowl.

Mo's home wrecker.

Mo's home wrecker.

Speaker 4 (19:51.15)
Yeah, that's what they call their burrito. It's a home wrecker.

That's good Lord.

Yeah, not even the exhaust fan in the bathroom is going to save you.

What, what, what's a, what's a record just off the top of your head, like something that you do really well that you might think that you're the best in the world at? Do you have anything?

too mad.

Speaker 1 (20:12.386)
zoning out.

zoning out.

Falling asleep on the couch.

I can zone out the longest.

How many days in a row I've fallen asleep on the couch?

Speaker 1 (20:22.702)
Pretty boring to watch, but I'd do it for science.

None of y'all have special talents in any way.

No, not None that are going to break any records.

That's why we're the stale bread podcast man.

thought I could, like, I worked in this factory for like maybe a few days and we put together these NOS container boxes and I got so fast that they couldn't get the bottles out fast enough as fast as I was folding these boxes. It was literally like one second per box if even that. Like just folding them all together because they were flat and you just have to get all the ends and everything up and ready for the bottles in.

Speaker 2 (21:04.278)
I think I could have broke a record.

What you're saying is you can really fold under pressure.

Yes. Yes. That's great. And Mike is asleep again. Look at him.

setting a record.

for the record. I don't know, maybe like something like a like a knot tying contest. I don't know something like that.

Speaker 2 (21:25.644)
Are you good at tying knots? a serial killer?

doing it right now with my dick.

I was about to say from someone who's never tied the knot.

Yeah. World record of marriages. Who's got that one? That's the one I want to know.

Shut up, killer.

Speaker 2 (21:47.374)
I'm

There you go, Glen Wolf, married 29 times. Golly, that guy must have been broke.

I think my uncle married the same lady three or four times. And got divorced, then got remarried, divorced, remarried my uncle Kenny, but he's passed away now. So he can't remarry her anymore. And that's what I call true love.

death do all them part.

Yeah, he also holds the world record of divorces.

Speaker 1 (22:23.626)
I would hope so.

Not necessarily. Big employment might have died.

true.

Why don't we look up what's the world worst podcast world record. We could, we could break that.

Please say a word out on there.

Speaker 4 (22:40.59)
Please don't say that.

We are there we are.

Hey, did Bonnie Blue break any records?

Who's that? No, no, I

Wow, the porn star. Yeah, English porn star. think she did actually. Yeah, I believe that was a record recently.

Speaker 1 (22:53.422)
working a thousand men.

Speaker 1 (22:58.362)
shit! Look it up Keller, I don't want that on my history.

same.

Speaker 2 (23:03.426)
I thought, well, Mike's got Google pulled up.

Well, you could look it up, Jeremy, if you had Nord VPN, the non-sponsor of the show.

Well, I could look it up if I had pornhub. To blow who?

Farthest distance to blow a pee. I'm not putting this on my search history. No, it's not happening. It's not happening.

In January of 2025, she attempted to break the world record of the most number of sexual partners in one day, claiming to have had sex with 1,057 men in 12 hours. The record has been held since 2004 by Lisa Sparks, who reportedly had sex with 919 men in one day.

Speaker 1 (23:44.719)
Lisa.

Speaker 4 (23:49.582)
disgusting.

See Keller, there's one you could do.

I could have sex with 1058 men. I do not think so.

Imagine how sticky that floor was.

That's making me sick just thinking about it.

Speaker 2 (24:08.43)
Yep. He's having flashbacks from when he was there.

disgusting.

stepped on a used condom

A green dildo.

face land and some hairy guys ass.

Speaker 4 (24:21.72)
stepping on a, stepping on a used Conrad. I just got to go to work and step outside in our parking lot. That's a true story.

the fuck do you work?

Yeah, exactly.

Why'd you leave that condom there?

of the town is your office on.

Speaker 4 (24:38.04)
Don Avenue.

that explains a lot.

Do hear about the lady that holds the record for shoplifting with her vagina?

What?

Yeah, lady stole a loaf of bread by putting it in her vagina.

Speaker 2 (24:58.26)
How does it stay bread and not just

Why don't you look that up too?

Speaker 4 (25:06.273)
Bad.

No, I'm not doing it.

I think it was probably from a Walmart.

Is this like a baguette or? Well, I'm really curious about what kind of bread this is now. Yeah.

I don't know.

Speaker 4 (25:20.462)
You come in with details, come on.

I mean, all right, I'll jeopardize my phone.

Yeah

But you won't be jeopardizing it if you use NordVPN.

It was probably a brioche bun. But that might be a record we could beat speaking of stealing things from Walmart.

Speaker 4 (25:40.014)
That's one hell of a yeast infection.

Number of items shoplifted.

uh... we're gonna go to go with uh... six hundred

be like a bunch of chapsticks and shit.

Is this at once?

Speaker 2 (25:52.046)
It would have to be at once. But you could fill up a whole cart. And a lot of times I'm thinking that it's going to be like food and stuff that they're stealing so multiple.

It's gotta be small items gotta be small

I try and break my record every time I go.

Every time you go...

You know, I ain't going for nothing fancy, just my personal best.

Speaker 2 (26:13.387)
Personal best what you up to what's your personal with the best?

No, no, no, I don't I don't I don't steal anymore

6.

Speaker 2 (26:24.974)
Anymore? you get pulled into the office one day but it wasn't enough items so they let you go?

Pretty much no. I never been caught.

never been caught.

Never ever ever been caught because I don't do it. I definitely don't do it. Hear me LP?

LP. What's the record?

Speaker 1 (26:50.562)
Loss prevention.

What's the record, Jeremy?

for

He always said he don't really steal no shit. if, he-

Speaker 4 (27:01.838)
What's the actual record?

actual record. Yeah.

Yes!

It doesn't have a record but the most stolen thing is meat and then razors baby formula that's sad leave them the fuck alone

That used to happen a lot when I worked at Walgreens. We had to lock up the baby formula.

Speaker 1 (27:28.59)
Cosmetics.

Well have you seen the price of that shit? We were just in the store looking at what we used to have to buy for our daughter which was like special formula and it's up like $46 for a can.

Yep.

like yeah

alcohol and then it gets into electronics and shit like

Speaker 4 (27:48.056)
Yep. It was at Walgreens. It was baby formula and bleach.

bleach.

Yeah, really? was, that was our bit. had, we had to lock up all the bleach and baby formula.

What about bleach? I've never seen bleach locked up, ever.

Yeah, yeah, we had to lock it up.

Speaker 1 (28:08.928)
At the racetrack by my house it was ice until they got smart and put a fucking lock on it.

They all have locks now. Thanks, Trying to go fishing with some free ice.

trying to shave my face, you know, and then I got an alarm going off in the aisle. Well, that about wrap it up, think for world records and Guinness world records. Jeremy, why don't you take us on out.

Hey fuckers.

No, it's my turn. Fuck you. Peace out

Speaker 1 (28:39.522)
No, no. Let us know what records you think you could break. Let us know what you think. Let us know something. Keller, us out.

Speaker 1 (28:56.16)
Okay, well, everyone just remember, your dick in your hand is worth two inner bush or whatever JFK said. Peace motherfuckers.

you

you

you

Speaker 1 (29:19.28)
you

you

you

Speaker 4 (29:37.496)
Del Bred podcast is Daniel Keller, Jeremy Pope and Michael Kaliznik recorded live at SMG Studios, Division of SMG Communications. Executive producers Michael Kaliznik and Tony Skippersen Clark.