S1E12: 9/11 and the Effects of Not Passing The Ball

On this episode!....

The boys share their personal stories and reflections on the September 11th attacks, exploring how it affected their lives. They delve into various topics, including conspiracy theories about 9/11, like the supposed link to Black Rock, and even debate how to pronounce 'Armageddon.' The talk time travel, where they ponder whether they'd go back to prevent 9/11 and what changes they might make in history.  They also touch on ancient civilizations, art, and notable historical figures, adding a mix of humor and insight to their reflections.

We Are Schwauff, LLC
Up and coming media company that ranges from animation to film. And everything inbetween

Chapters

• 3:16 Discussion on 9/11 Anniversary
• 9:06 Personal Stories and Reflections on 9/11
• 15:03 Debunking and Discussing Conspiracy Theories
• 17:16 Impact of 9/11 on Daily Life
• 21:47 Resilience and Unity in the Face of Tragedy
• 27:40 Discussion on Black Rock and Film References
• 30:54 The Impact of 9/11 on Movies and Television
• 32:12 The Correct Pronunciation of 'Armageddon'
• 40:53 Time Travel and Changing Historical Events
• 54:59 Ancient Greek Beliefs

Transcript

0:00

the Soviet Lenin, not John Lenin. Big fucking difference. Yeah, huge difference there, pal. Huge. Yeah Shit me three monkeys. God damn He was with the Beatles, not the Monkees, Jeremy. You right, you right. to the stale bread podcast. I fucking guess. week another drink How you boys doing? day. Yeah. Here, here. Hear ye, hear ye. bitch. 123 he Tha 'ken batch. Well, how's your last two weeks been, You feel any less fat? bad. No. I feel the same. Eating better. a fat worthless piece of shit! Well... changed my patterns of eating though. I started eating less and it also helps that there were two occasions each week where I shit my fucking brains out for three days. So I'm down about 10 pounds. Nice. I eat a lot of protein yogurts and shit like that. El gato. Where you at Keller? Where am I at as far as my weight? as loss, yeah. I don't know I didn't weigh myself today. Yesterday I was still about 255 I'm like straddling 254 255 back and forth for the past few days That's still 10 pounds, man. pounds. Yeah, I was 264 .7 so... Hell yeah. up in New York City eating my way through Manhattan, so I came back. Yes, I did. Although I did walk 18 miles. damn you must have eaten so much fucking pizza to even out 18 mile walk and you didn't lose shit that back dead even. That is a fucking accomplishment in itself. That's impressive. that was the whole point. was like, I know I'm gonna eat, so I might as well walk it off. We did good, did really good. So had a whole bunch of pizza, bagels, a bunch of Italian food. Just amazing. Went to John's of Bleaker Street. Best pizza I've ever had in my life. So good. Well, we got a rather unfortunate event unfolding. And Mike, I know you had some personal relations with it. So you want to walk us into this death trap? Yeah, we are a couple days out from the 23rd anniversary of September 11th terrorist attacks on Washington and New York City. Yep. I got an alibi. wasn't there. BOOM! Yeah. Been holding that in for a while. a senior in high school when it happened. Keller that would put you what? I had just gotten into the nursing home. old. That puts you, yeah, like your sixth year of high school. Yeah, yeah, it was like still the ninth grade somewhere around there for the eighth time. Your math's all fucked up, I can tell. It is kind of fucked up, isn't You I don't math good. you're younger than us. What do you remember about it? Man, I was in fucking fifth grade. And I remember... I went to my little math class across the hall. The teachers split up. One would teach reading, one would teach history, the other teach math. went to math class, sitting there. My older black lady teacher runs in. Y 'all babies gotta settle down. Mr. Brown's gonna turn the TV on. We need y 'all to pay attention. they turned the fucking TV on and like I said earlier boom and we didn't know really what was going on we were watching it on the TV so it felt a little surreal and being 10 years old I wasn't exactly built to process that shit yet but I do remember the World Trade Center was, the Twin Towers? Fuck knows, a giant -ass skyscraper. No, but you'd seen them. How do you see them before like in pictures and things? No. I mean, maybe in passing, but they look like skyscrapers. I didn't really know of their significance or recognize that. No. But I do remember we got the rest of the day off because the teachers started digging into conspiracy theories and preaching to a bunch of 10 year olds. So that was nice. But I remember everyone was just being frantic and people were picking up their kids from school early. They were talking about how there were threats against Disney World even and elementary schools. And I was mature enough to know that that does sound like a bunch of bullshit. They hit some towers in New York. They're not coming after a bunch of elementary school kids in the middle of the ghetto. We're safe. We're fine. I actually, vaguely remember there being a threat against Disney World. I do remember that. or hearing about it anyway. Shit, Mike, what did, What did that look like for you? Well, my day was completely different. started off like any other day. I was, on the varsity basketball team and basketball doesn't start in Florida until about November, late October, early November. So as a senior, you were expected to be at open gym at like seven o 'clock in the morning. The whole team was there, but our coach wasn't. You were just run games of basketball up and down the court, back and forth. So it was any other Tuesday to me. So I go in and I was running a set with most of my, teammates and the, on the other side was a couple, a couple of kids that were probably going to make varsity that were significantly younger. And they're really good, really good players. But I had a problem with one of the kids not passing the ball. Just, you know, we're trying to develop a team. We're trying to, you know, get things clicking and it was him getting the ball and driving to the hoop every single time. And I, you know, and it was, you know, 50 50 on whether he made the basket or not. And I was that pissed me off. So I, know, I I I guarded him pretty tight on the next time down the court and put my body into him and said pass the ball. And he wasn't listening, so I found him hard, real hard. Your own teammate? Shit, you savage. What the fuck's wrong you? So I realized what I was doing and I said, sorry, let's just keep playing. So go up and down the court one more time. NBA. Who was it, James Harden? So next time down the court, next time down the court, he's got the ball. He comes right at me hard. And then all hell breaks loose. He runs into me. I didn't stop and it becomes a fist fight and everybody's trying to break us up. And, I got a couple of good slugs in and he fell to the floor. and So, wait, so does, in relation with 9 -11, does he end up being the guy that flies the plane? you Hang on, I think we may need to just let Mike tell his story on this one. We might say something and be biting our fucking tongue, so let's let's give him a minute. All right. He falls to the floor and there was a separation at a point. And I come right up to him, wind my leg up and crack him right inside of the head. Knocked him out cold. Soccer style, hard as I could to the side of the head. And like he's out cold. And I'm realized, I realized what the hell did I just do? I think I might have killed this kid. yeah, so he comes out of it, thank God. And we had teachers in there that were running with us. had one of the history teachers, one of the math teachers. that would run up and down the court with us. you know, that quickly got back to the dean's office. So I'm sitting in first period and I get called out. I'm like, here we go. And my coach, my basketball coach is the head of deans. He pulls me into his office and he's like, what the hell did you do? And I started breaking down. was like, I don't know. I don't know what I did. I was acting out of frustration. But by this time I'm in tears. And he's like, I gotta kick out of school. he made me call my dad. And my dad's like, what the hell is wrong with you? So my dad not only came up to the school, but followed me home. As I'm getting kicked out, I had to drive my own car home. He made sure I wasn't gonna go anywhere. But as I'm sitting in the office, I had heard that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. And I'm like, I don't give a shit at this point. whoop -de -doo, a little Cessna hit the World Trade Center, who gives a crap? I've heard about this before. And then a couple minutes later, the athletic director comes in and he's from that area, the New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania area. He goes, my god, another plane just hit the World Trade Center. And that was like, of all days, here we go. The only day I've ever been suspended, ever, from school for doing anything stupid was on 9 -11. So I went home and my parents lit me a new one. This is not who you are, this is not how you behave, this is how bad this looks, things like that. And I basically sat in my room all day with my 19 inch television watching the news. basically just put myself into my own kind of coma and watch those two towers fall alive on television. think that was just as dramatic, you I think you probably should have some news coverage on YouTube. You know, I'm grateful that the kid's sister played basketball with my sisters who were in high school at the same time. They were on the girls' team. And I'm grateful that they didn't press charges on me. He wanted them having a concussion. But, ruined your life for sure. yeah, it could have very easily, very easily, but... the moral... with us. The moral of the story is pass the fucking ball. Exactly. Fucker, if he would just pass the fucking ball, them planes wouldn't have hit those buildings. It's all his fault. chaos theory, maybe he's the one who caused 9 -11. Yeah, maybe. Well, you want to shout out his name on here so everybody knows that he did it. I've made my amends. He and I talked later on and sat down and I made my amends. it's something that it just, it haunts me to this day that that's how I acted. I literally tried to kill somebody. and over basketball, over a stupid basketball team. We've all been in that fucking situation, but a lot of us have had better luck. Thankfully you had some on your side too. Yeah, I got, I hate to say it, I got away with it, but I did. I mean, speaking of luck, those who didn't have it were probably on that fucking plane. and those top fours. Yeah, it's hard being, you guys know I'm from the New Jersey, New York City area, and I have pictures of me as a little kid on Liberty Island, where the Statue of Liberty is, looking back towards the city of me as a kid with the Twin Towers in the background. It hurt. really, it didn't really settle in for me till probably later that day, what was going on all across the United States. But it, it hurts so much to look back at those pictures and say, you know, these, these were the tallest towers in the world at the time. And that feeling that we were this almighty powerful country just gone like that. We were vulnerable. And so I was too. I was too on that day. Very, very vulnerable. So I kind of wrap it up all as a full evil day. Yeah. Well, I think the question on everyone's mind after hearing that is, was it jet fuel that melted the steel beams? Or was it the plane? Or what happened? It's an inside job. Yes, it was jet fuel that melted those beams. I heard it was a rim job, not an inside job. The steel girders were on the rim. That was the problem. That was the fault in the design. Popular Mechanics, years after 9 -11, did a study. And they looked at the design of the towers and how each four was built. And the way the elevators went up, they went up in the middle of the building as opposed to on the perimeter. So it was built like this so that there were no pillars in the office space. It was wide open. So the girders ran from the edge of the building to the center pylons where the elevators were. And they were on L brackets on the side of the, on the outside and inside of the inner walls. So what happened was, The jet fuel didn't have to burn straight through that metal. All it had to do is fatigue it. Warp it. Right. And anybody who's a blacksmith will show you that, or a white smith, Keller. Ha ha ha ha! Definitely a white smith. No, that's my cousin, Will Smith. Will Smith. White Will Smith, we need to have that segment. need to have a session with White Will Smith. We really do. see if he can get jiggy with her or if he's just going to stick around and get schwaff. He's currently packing and moving and in school and everything else. All at the same time? It's fuckin' eight o 'clock at night right now. I know. I told him. He's a dumbass Will Smith doing all that at the same time. Well, there's definitely two of those. Just kidding. Don't slap. Don't slap the shit out of me. I'll pay to see that. Going back to the design though, so what happened was that metal got fatigued on the middle sections where the plane exploded and all that jet fuel caught fire. There was so much combustion because of all the office materials, all the paper, everything that was on. It hit, the plane took out about 12 floors. So you add in the jet fuel with all the furniture, the papers. We're talking about 2001 where the internet is a thing, but it's not exactly non... Yeah, you're still sending faxes, you got books for reference, things like that. And what happened was it got so hot. or it got hot enough, I shouldn't say it got so hot, it got hot enough to the point where that metal fatigued just enough in the middle that the concrete on top of it... bent it and it was just a stack of dominoes. came down on top of one another. And you add up all the weight from those top floors above where the planes hit, those bottom floors didn't stand a chance. It's design was a perimeter bracket style is what they called. Do you think like down below, like the hot dog cart guy got out? God, I hope so. Love me a dirty water hot dog. That doesn't sound good. Sounds like I'd be shitting for another three days. man, you haven't lived till you had a dirty water hot dog. That sounds like a hot carl. Give me a dirty water hot dog. So, Keller, what's your opinion on the whole 9 -11 situation? That's You shouldn't fly planes into buildings. That's my personal opinion. I'm kind of removed from stuff like that. I don't know. My wife says that I'm not empathetic at all. Maybe, maybe just a little bit like 60%. I don't know. Have you been profiled? Well, there's actually... the day it happened. I was, I was still living at my mom's house and with my aunt and I remember waking up to hearing my aunt, which was pretty loud. And she's like, my God. And then her screaming again after the second one hit, I come out and I see it on the news, but I wasn't an avid news watcher and I didn't really know if stuff like that happened all the time. I saw TV when I was younger, like wars happening and stuff like that. I just thought it was kind of maybe a normal thing that occurred in the world. But I didn't really put any weight on the situation as of then, or I had no idea how big it would be after it happened. So like I said, I was pretty much removed emotionally, physically all of that from it, which in your life really changed after that? No, nothing that worked, nothing like that? Not that I can recall. I had shitty jobs though. Maybe if I had a better job, something would have changed. They're like, I think I was working at UPS at the time. So it was just like same old thing. You better unload those packages. They got to get to where they're going. Okay? Jeremy, they, you know, we were, I was a senior in high school, you know, you were fifth grade. Did anything happen afterwards? You know, did they have to? pick up lines and drop off lines and all that other stuff became much more strict. We started to see a school resource officer more frequently. But that was also because the drug problem was getting worse in the neighborhood. So I can't necessarily say anything changed because I hadn't experienced enough of the world yet. So I mean, go into an airport or going to a fucking grocery store or college campus. mean, I had no life experience, but. for me, but I was much older. I still had no life experience. I don't think I had ever traveled anywhere or done anything. There's actually a study in psychology where it's easier for us to empathize with what we can put into a smaller capacity. if one person dies, that's one person. You can calculate that in your mind. You get sad a lot quicker. Maybe not you, Keller. But if it's one thousand people or a hundred thousand people the more that those digits increase the harder it is for us to be like my god can you name that many people yeah it's it's one of those things so it's harder to to feel empathy that's why when we're like they're starving kids in africa it fucking sucks for them but little timmy got hit by a car out front of your house yesterday we can we can put that into a capacity that we can understand think I have to have a personal relationship with them for me to feel anything about it. That's kind of how I am. I'm kind of the same, for me, I can. It's not like, my God, man, I hurt this. This hurts. It's more like a man that that kind of sucks. Yeah, I recognize I feel bad for the person, but I am not sad because of it, if that makes sense. Yeah, I'm not losing exactly, but. Do you guys think that this was something created by the government to fuel support for a war overseas with ulterior motives? apps are fucking lootly. I... I... why. We gotta get our resources, Gotta get them oils. Them oils, gentlemen. If you were president, 9 -11 would happen, is that what you're saying? No, I would have just... No, I would have found out another way. I would have found out another way. No, we already know what I would do if I was president. Vote for Monsignor 2024. crackhead president -elect. AI already decided I am the president -elect. Listen, these motherfuckers ain't decide nothing yet, motherfucker. They did, they decided. Everybody's own heroin. They can decide on election day though. We will post a poll. Who's going to be voted in? and that episode will be brought to you by Boeing. Fuck. Not, not a whole lot being brought to you by Boeing right now. Nope, nope, blow them whistles. Well, can you get into the theory about the Black Rock and how it was connected to 9 -11? I don't know the specifics behind the BlackRock connections, but I do know there were quite a few questionable things that happened just before the attacks. Like the owner of the World Trade Center towers took out a new insurance policy specifically for terrorism. And I can't, I don't know if I. that, you don't feel like it was a little bit of an inside job. You don't think Bin Laden was like, hey man, I like you, you split some money with me, you give me... You give me safekeeping. I fuck goats. We armed him. three goats and 40 AK -47s and you have a deal. Where'd the accent go at the end, man? Come on. You oughta give me three goats and... Give me them goat pusses. He was trying to be one of us, an American. That's all. I mean, BlackRock. and Jenga. Black Rock is one of the biggest investment companies in the world. I mean, it was only natural for them to be at the World Trade Center during the time. Again, I don't know the specifics behind it, but damn. to know something interesting though, Tobey Maguire's Spider -Man actually had the twin towers in the film. They had a web strung between the two and a helicopter was caught in the middle of them. And they had to delay the film and edit that out because, man. So imagine how much better Tobey Maguire's Spider -Man would have been had Bin Laden not did what he did. This is your president. This is your president. we prioritize the important things. Yeah, ruin cinema. Fuck that guy. Yeah, piece of shit. Couldn't even go watch Broadway. Broadway did see an increase in production though. Several actors that started in Broadway came back to Broadway to liven up the spirits of New York. So that was pretty fucking cool. Yeah, it wasn't, well I guess your cousin wasn't in it then, huh? No, no he wasn't. There's quite a few of, I'm looking at the edited films that were affected by that. Spider -Man, just like you said, Zoolander had a, Men in Black 2, Mr. Deeds, Armageddon apparently had a scene which doesn't make Wait, what? Armageddon. What? GADEN? ARMAGADEN? Armageddon. I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep, because I'd miss you, Mikey. No. Alright, now that that fucking shit's over with, what happened to your camera? Armageddon? Saturn Armageddon play in that mat and shout out to Byron's bitch ass. Ghost White and her little pointy nose. Zazz our perfect ass little bangs. Zazaz Zanz She made a great elf. She really did. Man. Fucking no liv. God damn, man. I'd hang that up. was thinking. I don't even know why I started thinking about the movie Elf and then Zoe DiCinelle. Hehehe. shit my brain just went haywire just now but yeah I saw the connection now, I knew where you were going. I'm going there to swivel table. because I didn't. That was way of... way somewhere else. And how was that connected to the Twin Towers? Armageddon? Yeah, that's what I'm looking at right now because that was in 1998 which doesn't... movie are we talking about? You Armageddon. Say ambulance. it in the streets. They got them Gats on them, them Armageddon's. which the World Trade Center gets hit by meteors and catches on fire was edited out many television broadcasts of the film. Right, well, Home Alone 2 was edited as well. Trump had something to do with it. Features a scene atop the World Trade Center, which was edited out on several television channels. However, as of Christmas 2018, the scene was restored. They just think that people were just gonna be really sad to see the buildings in the background and ruin the movie. They did because they thought they'd get triggered. What about the first time when they were bombed with the van? Yeah. times did we, I mean look at Speed. That movie came out. Speed 2. cruise control. Yeah. We gotta stop this bus! life. man, we gotta stop this bus, bro. Whoa! Stop, bus! Whoa! Buttass in it too, didn't it? Yeah Hey, you don't talk about my lady like that. She still looks like C -22. From what I understand, she's turned into a bit of a bitch. And I just, I'm done with people being bitches. This is taking too long. Shut the fuck up. you Why is it so small? I'm cool with you Sandra, call me. Me too. Not a problem, Sandy. Come on. I'm good. I'll be in speed four. Who's gonna star in that one beside you? not Paul Walker. Sands are Bullock. God damn. my god. See now there there's a tragedy we can laugh at right Mike? my god. Speaking of people burning alive. Terrible. Yeah, think about his family. Where's your empathy now? It's all about family. I'm starting to realize what this is all about. you What, life? No, my friendships. You I gotta keep a little low. No, no, not one fucking bit. Wait, you don't get it. You can make that sound, but you can't say you can. You can't even get it out! What the hell's wrong with you? I I I what the suspense is what's what's doing it I don't want to tell you man. Armageddon? Armageddon. it! It's Armageddon. There you Yes. Yes. The whole time. Fuck you both. Hey, you drinking tonight, girl. It's all good. back to your holes. My hobbit hole. With Liv. than me and Sandy bustin'. Fuck that shit up. There's a bomb in this hobbit house! We gotta go 55 miles per hour. But first, I have to turn into a model and win a competition because that's gonna be so fucking relevant. you She can go get fucked by Rosie O'Donnell. Damn, no, come on, that no, that's cold. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. neither would I. Plus she's got dick holes in her pants. my goodness, gentlemen. man. I'm still stuck on Armageddon. That's how I've said it my whole life, armageddon. Well, you were absolutely wrong your whole life. Look at that. Yeah. but I'll... I'm looking up the correct pronunciation. Well I say shit wrong too, so... No, you said shit correctly. Thank you. Okay. You're right. Now you're right. Armageddon. Get in. You're right. something most women cannot do, is admit when they're wrong. Hey, it divert comes from the Hebrew. What the treat? no Armageddon. That's gonna see the goddamn Jews is that is that why women won't apologize? the Hill of Megiddo. I got distracted by my cat and then all of sudden you're talking about the goddamn Jews? What? Well, we started it. Are we adding a member to the dead cat jacuzzi? No, he's still alive for now. Did you guys ever see that cat? He's like a white -faced cat, but he's got a black mustache. They call him Kittler. Yeah. There's a whole webpage devoted to Kittler's. man, that sounds a little, can't think of the word. you can't be mad at him because it's not his fault. No, it's not his fault. he has right? Nine! you man. We will get the fish out of the bowl. That's how you commit to an accent. terrible accent. you guys ready to go float down a peaceful river? Fuck, fuck no. We're going to be floating down a culvert essentially. I ain't gonna lie, I'm a little nervous, a little nervous. A little bit. I don't wanna fall out and then hit like their rocks that they placed in there. Yeah. May they're made out of foam. That'd be cool. your feet downstream. Yes, definitely. No, you definitely do that so you don't hit your head. Yeah, that way you can kinda catch yourself, catch the impact of the rock. But what if I hit my head then I come back a better man? Like all of sudden, know calculus. 9 -11 wouldn't have happened. That's how you stop it right there. That's it. I'm looking forward to the free solo climb over the deep, the free deep solo, whatever they call it. Yeah. I'm going to try to get up to the top as hard as I can. got a moral question for you. You guys understand the rules of time travel, like the pretty generic fucking movie style rules. Would you go back in time and stop 9 -11? I was just thinking of that the other day, actually. What would it solve besides saving the lives of 3 ,000 people? How many more would it cost? other country that we just demolished. what would our rules be like now? I would just go back and kill my dad before he met my mom. that's so sad. It wouldn't be my problem. No. not your fault. It's not your fault. A little bit. A little bit. don't know. I was a pain in the ass. I might have contributed to the stress. It's not your fault. if you had to choose, Mike, would you choose to take away what 9 -11 happened or your incident as far as what happened? If you could choose one of the two for that day. Shit getting deep man, something I could never do. just because you're shallow. That's what I was getting at. Do I know the outcome if I... So are the outcomes the same if I stop one of them? No, that's not the way time travel works. You've messed with time, so it could. Your mind states stays correct and you get a scholarship for basketball to college. You get a full ride. No, no, this would have happened. They would have been like, we see your sportsmanship and the way you picked that guy up off the ground and you settled a dispute and you handled it. So much, no. the terror attacks. I'll take the heat. Damn. So you just remain a bad person and stop planes hitting buildings. met one of the firefighters who was on the last engine into the city in 2014. And the amount of pain and suffering that the multitudes of those guys that were left behind, you know, afterwards continue to go through. The cancers, the mental... emotional, psychological. I stopped 9 -11. That's. But then they crash a plane into Disney World. Butterfly effect. And then AI takes off, start, Disney can afford it, so they start mass producing AI and then next thing you know we're in the matrix. Yeah, it's like robotic Mickeys that are for war. Get back to the factory, bitch! Yok, yok! What the hell are you doing? It's not your lunch break! You Ha Mmm. Do you stop it? Do you stop 9 -Eleven? No, I go back and get a fucking almanac. yeah, that too. no, I go forward and go. I don't know how time works sometimes. Yeah, you take the Allmac with you from now. Yeah, and then I give it to younger me who loses it probably. Yes, gentlemen, yes. really a plan. Can I color on it? and BlackRock will probably find you and take you out. Maybe that's why our podcasting audio has been kind of shitty. Maybe it's black rock because we said black rock too many times. Maybe they're black rocking us. Maybe that could be a saying. You just got black rock. Why black rock when you can crack rock, baby? Vote Monsignor 2024. Thanks for the shout out. Keller, you go back and stop it. versus what? Not stopping it. think everything happens for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, but I bet you something good happened that day too. So what if I go back and change that, then the good thing no longer happens. The owner cashed in on his fucking insurance check. That's right. He got paid. And what about the unity that we had in America after that? So I might have went back in time and made friends with that guy. the guy with the insurance check. You Just stick to the almanac. Good lord I don't like people. I'll just stick with the Almanac. Yeah, I don't trust people. you I don't know. It would definitely be different. I can honestly say, since that day, my mindset about everything in the world completely changed. So, all right, answer me this. If you could go back in history and change one thing that was horrible, that happened, what would you choose versus just making it about 9 -11? Just one thing. Yeah. Ooh, that's a tough question. It's a finger 11 question. Jeremy, you got an idea? What would I go back and change? Well, I believe really strongly what you said, Keller. Everything happens for a reason, and I'm nervous to fuck with that. So if I were to go back, would be for personal gain only. Something that I can try and... That way I can try and contain it, because if I can secure some... No, no, no, hang on, I'm not a complete piece of shit. I'd go back in time and try and find a way to contain some kind of nest egg or something until I get back to my present -day self and then I'll use that to better the I mean it's the old saying of you can't help others if you can't help yourself. Let me get straight first and then I got you guys. You could argue going back and stopping the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, stopping World War I. You you could argue that. You could... have a good band name. true. You Very true. my god. That was the only plus about that. Good band name. Well, think about it like this. You stop that. That stops Germany losing the war. Now, it doesn't guarantee the war wasn't going to begin with anyway, but that was the catalyst that started World War One. But the outcome of World War One, Germany gets sanctioned out of their minds and leads to the rise of the Nazis, Adolf Hitler. Yeah. Well, then you can argue also though. Anytime we've seen vast technological production, it's been in wartime. Everyone goes into production mode. We gain new technologies, better technologies that we take back home to better our lives. So do you really want to... How far would that set us back? think I'd go back and get a clear Pepsi. I don't think I ever tried one. You weren't missing much. That was like free Coke or Coke free, whatever it was. It was so bad. you don't remember Coke? was bad. I remember Coke. would I think I think I would go back if we were to do that. That's that's interesting. I like that shit. I'd go to an old timey Western saloon and have some of their stew. Yeah, their stew, I don't think you're going to be very pleased with that. I don't think so either. the experience. I might get shot. was only five days dead when we made this. No freezers. It makes my mouth foam a little bit, but it's pretty tasty. You think about that in Ancient times not the ancient times like medieval times and shit like that where they've got taverns and they they bake bread for all the people stopping by at the end and they make porridge and soups and all this shit. They don't put it in the refrigerator. That shit's sitting there all fucking day long, sometimes for two days. Who knows what it is? Just feeding motherfuckers and they didn't have the preservatives we do now. So it's not like the ants won't touch it. You got bugs crawling into the shit. They did it. that their life expectancy wasn't that long. It's crazy. You would think they would live forever. I'm at the ripe old age of 35. Pretty much. Could have been all the fucking sword fights and killings and the bionic plague and all that shit. Imagine if that was your life though. Your whole life would be just learning to be the best swordsman or whatever you could possibly be. Like you would want to be the highlander of that generation. I wouldn't be over 220 pounds, that's for fucking sure. That could be only one. wonder if they're going to make that into a new movie with all the remakes they're making. think they've already remade it. Yes. It would have to be a remake of a remake. Who? Star who? Ryan Gosling, Highlander. and know Emma Stone is going to be on it. Emma Stone can be in whatever she wants. She's allowed. Damn right. I think Emma Stone is in him. What? the fuck? wordplay is the best foreplay. Keller, what do you go back and change? I don't go back and change anything. My stance is still... I'm just curious about the taste of the clear Pepsi. What else would you go back and experience then? Say you've got the DeLorean, you can go wherever, whenever, anytime you want. no, no. You got a smartwatch. You're not fucking... No. Nah, I want a fucking DeLorean, man. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. As long as you can fit it in the DeLorean. wait, hold up, I'm gonna let you go and then I've got something. Well shit, now I don't, I just figured I would go back to the days when Christopher Columbus landed here, but I would have AK -47s and bullets and all that, and then I'd show them that I was a wizard and that then America would no longer be America, would be Keller land. to work. the Indians, me and the Indians would live there happily ever after. Have a nice, nice native wife. Yep, I use a bullet here and there to bring down a buffalo and Nobody touched my magic wand. They discovered that they can do the magic too. No, they better not. We'll have to get rid of them. it's weird because I was going to say something similar. I wanted to go back with a bunch of guns, a bunch of ammo, only if I can reset it. But I just want to go back with that, with lighters. mean, with a tablet. I'll have to find a way to charge it. I'll build some kind of solar powered charger. No, no, there's no cell towers. He is the leader of the United States. I'd want to see how far I could get. See what I can take over. I would go back to the Renaissance and steal the Mona Lisa right out of Da Vinci's hands after he was done with it. Fuck you, and I'm gone. Exactly. This shit ugly as fuck, what you thinking? I go in with a squirt bottle of paint and just be in the cathedral just sorry about that he'll clean it up shit I'm so clumsy break statues and shit right Jeremy was here They went, they went through and took chisels to the statues, you know, wangs. Speaking of wang wisdom. Holy shit. the statues that you see that have like the leaf over the private areas. Yeah, that's the reason why, because some Pope or somebody said, nope, they chisel that shit off and put a leaf on it. they probably put in their office they wanted all those little dicks to themselves Exactly. well I was gonna say they probably sucked them off No, it didn't look like natural erosion Do you know with agent times I I think I'm pretty sure it was Greek in Greece The smaller your penis the more superior you were I'm a fucking king then let's go yep. No, I guess it was related to a little bit of femininity. And also, the longer your dick, the more your desire to fuck, you're less intelligent. So I could be completely wrong on all of this shit, but that's what I remember. I'll be like, look guys, my dick can go back inside my seed into my uterus. You But them balls are fucking huge. Every time I piss, I piss all over my balls. I piss blood. Yeah god. You should see a doctor about that, sir. you really should. I did. He asked me to stop pissing on his floor. What the bloody hell? Ugh, get out of my house. Did you see that? Did I send you that TikTok? Which one? where the guy is like halfway between the closet mirror and he's like moving his leg and arm where it looks like he's like walking like in the mirror and he's like look look and the leg comes in and she screams and she's like ahhhh and he's like yeah Get out of my house! you lock your windows. Yeah, you should probably lock your windows. Hopps back out. First time I saw that, it caught me by surprise so much. I laughed so much. Well, gentlemen, it's always a pleasure. Thanks for listening to my therapy session today. Hey, not a problem, man. Drink a fucking netherwood. Nah, I'm kidding. Stop being a bitch, Mike! like a little screwball. Finish off the night. Yep. Thanks for letting everybody know I have no emotions and that my wife is right. man. Well, if you haven't already, like, comment, subscribe. Once again, the Stale Bread Podcast. Take us out, Jeremy. What are you guys still doing here? Bye.